How To: Coach Our Guys

The guys in our lives are awesome...but sometimes they just need a little push in the right direction.
I don't know about you, but my husband grew up with all brothers and no sisters,
so I've taught him what kinds of girly things/experiences make me happy.
{Aka, I like coming home to a clean house after work, love shopping at Anthro, reading Glamour or InStyle when I'm sick, etc}
This is a guide on how to coach our guys so they feel comfortable being spontaneous with gifts or acts of service that will sweep us off our feet and make us feel loved.
No more making our guys mind read!

1. Don't say "I'm training *insert guy name*"
 It's Always Referred to as COACHING
I made this mistake once & Ryan retorted that it sounded like I was teaching a dog how to pee.
Now it's coaching, because it sounds like I'm helping him with the playbook!
{Much more manly}

2. Subtle Isn't Going to Cut It
I don't know if you've noticed...but guys like to mentally check out.
If you like a particular dress or necklace, point it out and say something to this effect:
"This is totally my style and I think it would be suuuuuper cute for Valentines!"
To us girls, that seems completely obvious and over the top.
Our guys will read this as subtlety, and mentally file it away for later.

3. Short & Sweet
After I point out something that catches my eye, I give a short & sweet explanation as to why I like it.
If it's a flower arrangement?
I point out the particular flowers and colors that I like & educate him on the topic.
That way, he feels more comfortable going solo and picking something out for me that I'd like, instead of him being scared to even go in the store for fear of not knowing what to get or even where to start.

4. It's All About Affirmation!
When Ryan goes out of his comfort zone to get me something cute from Anthro or to take me to a girly movie, I make a point to genuinely thank him for surprising me and tell him what I loved about the gift, experience, or act of service.
Yet again, he will file this away in his noggin and keep in mind to do something like that again.

5. Re-Group
If Ryan is a little "off" this time around, I don't lie to him!
I commend him for his thoughtfulness and give him more pointers to work with.
We make a date out of returning something and having him help pick out what I get next :)
When you are out on dates make sure to be short & sweet & to the point!

Chivalry IS Dead, I See

Yesterday afternoon, I rush to get ready 

seeing as how I have a class at 2pm and I'm definitely going to be late to it.

Ryan drops me off at school and I rush up to the Communication building on campus.

I'm 10 minutes late. Crap.

I find the classroom, open the door and bump into some people on the floor,

there were so many people crammed into the classroom trying to add the course,

that there were extra students sitting on the floor.

The guy next to me takes the liberty to fill me in on what I had missed,

when I see out of the corner of my eye, some guy smirking at me from the front row.

Turns out that it's my best friend Grant!

I smile and discreetly wave to him, then proceed to pull out my laptop and take notes.

20 minutes into class I notice that Grant is putting on his jacket.

Why is he doing that? It's not even cold in here!

Then he puts his belongings away in his backpack.

Graaaaaant. Did you know there is still an hour left in class?

He gets up out of his seat and walks over to me saying, quietly:

"Go over there and you take my seat"

The whole class is watching, the teacher stops lecturing for a bit while I gather my things to go sit smack in front of the classroom in a chair.

The old teacher then says:

"Well I guess chivalry isn't dead!"

I take my seat at the front, beaming with my uncanny ability to find just the bestest friends in the world...

when I notice all the guys around me are looking at one another.

They are all sneakily surveying the class, waiting to see who the next guy will be to give up their seat for the other 2 girls sitting on the ground. 

NONE OF THEM GET UP.

I was appalled to say the least.

{Grant & I circa 2010, before he left for his LDS mission}

No one in the class knew that Grant was my best friend.

So, for all they know it was a complete stranger giving up their seat for a girl on the ground.

This is BYU for pete's sake and NOT ONE GUY got up off of their fancy behinds to give up their seat for one of the young ladies sitting on the ground.

Even after one guy had already paved the way and given up his seat for me.

Wow.

That's pretty much all I can spit out.

Is chivalry and common courtesy totally dead?

Is it considered "weak" if a guy gives up his seat, holds a door open for a girl,
 or speaks to her with kindness and respect?

What do you all think about this?

Comment discussion!