Breezy Days: Turning Point


September 10, 2013

Turning Point

Tuesday, September 10th: Describe a distinct moment when your life took a turn

Let us travel all the way back to 2009, shall we? I was an overachieving senior in high school with all Advanced Placement classes, a position in Executive Student Council, over a 4.0 GPA, and a needy boyfriend. Not only was he needy, but I was loyal. One of my best and worst qualities is being too loyal and trusting. We had been dating for almost 2 years at this point and even talked about attending a California school together. Not only did my family and friends not like him, but he had no religious background and everything I knew to be true had derived from my religious beliefs. During senior year we were constantly fighting over where we would go to school and what our futures would soon look like. So we decided that these topics were off limits and we would not discuss them further until we absolutely had to.

My parents knew what was best for me before I knew it for myself. They agreed to pay for my California school applications as long as I also applied for BYU. I begrudgingly started the BYU application, but I did refuse with every fiber of my being to even apply for BYU-Idaho. I could handle Provo, but Rexburg? Shoot me. I applied to appease my parents, but was convinced that I would be attending UCSD or UCSB so I didn't think twice about my BYU application after it was submitted.
You see, I've always been a goodie-two-shoes. It took a lot of energy and emotion to defy my parents {especially since they are such awesome ones}, and I wondered how I could hold that up in the long run? Was this boyfriend really worth it? Would he give me the happy life I felt I deserved? This culmination of doubt, frustration, and defiance all came to head when I received my acceptance to BYU. I didn't even check the acceptance myself, my mom saw it and told me that I had gotten in starting Summer term of 2009...2 weeks after graduation. I broke down crying while my mom held me because it just hit me. I knew at that moment, in my heart, that things needed to change. Which also meant breaking off this toxic relationship and choosing a different path that would eventually take me to where I wanted to go. My parents sweetened the deal by offering to pay living expenses for my freshmen year if I attended BYU, because it was the best deal around...I accepted.

Surprisingly my boyfriend at the time was supportive, but I could tell he was hesitant in letting me go. Throughout our relationship he would jokingly say: "You are just gonna go find some Mormon boy who is going to sweep you off your feet! I don't deserve you." Of course at the time I responded with the typical "That won't happen, I'm with you!" But after first moving to Provo, I would hear his pitiful and martyr-like comment resounding in my mind. Noticing how it had such a different meaning to me now, than it did back then. He had this hold on me, but always knew that I deserved better. Once I realized that for myself, I started to feel my self-worth and confidence grow with each passing day. And a couple years later...I would end up finding that Mormon boy who would sweep me off my feet, for eternity.

1 comment:

Kelsey Eaton said...

What an awesome story! I had a very similar experience. Thank the Lord I didn't stay in Montana and go to some podunk town with my podunk boyfriend. Haha!