Breezy Days: How To: Coach Our Guys


January 24, 2013

How To: Coach Our Guys

The guys in our lives are awesome...but sometimes they just need a little push in the right direction.
I don't know about you, but my husband grew up with all brothers and no sisters,
so I've taught him what kinds of girly things/experiences make me happy.
{Aka, I like coming home to a clean house after work, love shopping at Anthro, reading Glamour or InStyle when I'm sick, etc}
This is a guide on how to coach our guys so they feel comfortable being spontaneous with gifts or acts of service that will sweep us off our feet and make us feel loved.
No more making our guys mind read!

1. Don't say "I'm training *insert guy name*"
 It's Always Referred to as COACHING
I made this mistake once & Ryan retorted that it sounded like I was teaching a dog how to pee.
Now it's coaching, because it sounds like I'm helping him with the playbook!
{Much more manly}

2. Subtle Isn't Going to Cut It
I don't know if you've noticed...but guys like to mentally check out.
If you like a particular dress or necklace, point it out and say something to this effect:
"This is totally my style and I think it would be suuuuuper cute for Valentines!"
To us girls, that seems completely obvious and over the top.
Our guys will read this as subtlety, and mentally file it away for later.

3. Short & Sweet
After I point out something that catches my eye, I give a short & sweet explanation as to why I like it.
If it's a flower arrangement?
I point out the particular flowers and colors that I like & educate him on the topic.
That way, he feels more comfortable going solo and picking something out for me that I'd like, instead of him being scared to even go in the store for fear of not knowing what to get or even where to start.

4. It's All About Affirmation!
When Ryan goes out of his comfort zone to get me something cute from Anthro or to take me to a girly movie, I make a point to genuinely thank him for surprising me and tell him what I loved about the gift, experience, or act of service.
Yet again, he will file this away in his noggin and keep in mind to do something like that again.

5. Re-Group
If Ryan is a little "off" this time around, I don't lie to him!
I commend him for his thoughtfulness and give him more pointers to work with.
We make a date out of returning something and having him help pick out what I get next :)
When you are out on dates make sure to be short & sweet & to the point!


Kyla Ford said...

LOVE THIS. So true. Great tips!

Janette said...

What Bri????!! You mean our husbands CAN'T read our minds??? Bummer! BUt these are some good tips! Especially affirming them..Like.. I make such a big deal out of stuff my husband does for me.. lol But then it ends up being the little things that really make my heart swell.. Like once, for my birthday Lovey made all these curly ribbons (which I still have to this day) to decorate my gifts..nothing crazy or special.. but I cried...cause I know what a busy guy he is and knowing he took the time to make my gifts pretty really got to me ... Such a sap I tell ya! But yes.. Thanks for the tips...

Jen Castagno said...

yeah i used to drop subtle hints, but soon realized that that did not work. i definitely just tell tony stuff i like flat out. it always ends up much better.

Samantha Elizabeth said...

Awesome tips :) so so true!!! I love the idea of saying “coaching” vs. training hah! it has been a while since I’ve stopped by...happy to see things are going GREAT. <3