Breezy Days: Date Smart


January 23, 2012

Date Smart

{Taken by Clark Goldsberry on June 4, 2011}

Here's the sitch.
I am SO GLAD I am not in the dating scene anymore.
It was stressful, nerve-wracking, and just downright awkward most of the time.

But now being on the other side of things, it makes me cringe looking at the dating world.

You know what scares me the most though?

Is when people date out of desperation. 
Yup, you heard me. 
And if you just read that sentence and now have a pit in your stomach?
Then you just might be one of those people.
And you should probably read the rest of this post.

You know that list of traits you carry in the back of your mind? 
The ones that you expect your future spouse to have?
He has to be: funny, hard-working, loving, motivated, musically inclined, etc etc.
Everyones list is different, but you get what I'm talking about.
Well, hate to break it to you, but you aren't gonna find that perfect person.

 But one day you'll compromise some of the things on that list because you will find someone who is
perfect for you.
Though, there is such a thing as compromising TOO much.
Which happens when you are dating desperately and not dating smart.

Do you have the dream of traveling the world?
You can't do that with a husband who doesn't have the motivation to work and save money.

Do have the dream of being a stay-at-home mom?
You can't do that if your husband doesn't have the motivation to go to school in order to get a decent job. You'll have to be out working too.

Do you have the dream of following your career with the support of your loved one?
You can't do that if you have a husband who is jealous of your success.

And you may think:
"Well, isn't that a little selfish?"
And to that I say: NOPE.
You want to help lower the divorce rate in this country?

So, I'm sure you are thinking:
"But Bri, I'm *blank* years old and I still haven't found 'The One'!"

You know what I have to say to that?
Date smarter.

Because it is true, you marry who you date.
Keep your head on straight to ask yourself the crucial questions.
Because you want to know exactly the kind of person you are going to marry.

Dating Smart is:
-Discovering through the dating process whether or not his goals in life, line up with yours.
-See him in a situation where he is stressed/tired/ticked. You'll see how he reacts to stressful situations. Can you deal with that?
-See him when he is sick. Will you be able to deal with that for the rest of your life?
-How is he with money? Extra spendy? Uber frugal? Will he be upset if you spend $10 on shoes?
-Do you get along with his family? Does he get along with yours?
-Could you spend all day, every day with him?
-Does he have the same ambitions as you? 
-Does he have a similar work ethic to yours?
-Is he what you deserve?

Thoughts? Opinions? Experiences?
<3 Bri


Robin said...

Bravo! I would much rather wait many years for Mr. Awesome than settle for an eternity of Mr. Mediocre. Besides, you're not just picking your husband, you're choosing your kids' father. And don't they deserve the best?

Aunie said...

Love!! Ha, I have a post almost directly related to this today on I did NOT DATE SMART at first... thank goodness I've found "the one!"

Anonymous said...

Super sweet post dear :) I absolutely loved it. I hope you find the perfect ONE!!! Dating smart is the right idea ;)

Lou from Foxy Whiskers said...

I am glad I'm not on the dating scene any more too!
I think women don't leave enough time to get to know themselves.
The best advise I ever heard, was to take time - a LONG time after a break up to get to know yourself and (this might sound crazy) but be abstinent! It will remarkably improve your self esteem and standards when looking for your next partner. Trust me, it works!

Lou x

justrealhappy said...

Amen. That's something I had to really learn. I'm so glad I did. Because I'm so much happier than I've been in a LONG time.

Alycia Grayce (Crowley Party) said...

I have been trying to teach my sister how to date smart! haha *sigh*